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WAHM Newsletters>
JOB DESCRIPTION OF A PARENT
PARENT
Job Description
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I
don't believe any of us would have done it!
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent
work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must
possess excellent communication and organizational skills
and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless
sports tournaments in far away Cities! Travel expenses not
reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be
able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in
case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not
someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
mbarrassment the next.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the
worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality
of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating
your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately
surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on
a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially
independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are
offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for
personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and
kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in
appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job
they do ... or forward with love to anyone thinking of
applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE? THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!
Thank you to Lyn Langham, Newcastle for sharing this with
us all.
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