Things I have felt guilty about this week:
When my daughter wanted a cuddle with me not daddy, I was on an important work call and couldn’t do it. Never mind that her dad was there, and I was only half an hour. And in the next room.
My daughter got bitten by another girl at school making me feel guilty. Despite the fact she was OK and had recovered from said bites as soon as the ice pack was applied.
I turned down a job because I was too busy to meet the deadline. This kept me awake at night, thinking “What if ALL MY OTHER WORK falls through and that could have been the thing that saved us from DESTITUTION? It would be all my fault… ” These kind of outrageously dramatic thoughts tend to only appear in the early hours of the morning.
One night after we’d all had a long day, I served my daughter bacon and eggs for tea. Followed by a little cake. In front of the TV.
I’ve been pretty lax on the housework. Floors are sticky in places and the laundry pile is quite large. Also – I never, ever iron.
I drank a whole bottle of champagne with the girls
My partner is having a very busy time at work but because of our schedules I haven’t really been able to talk to him about it in depth and see how I can help him feel less pressured. And I forgot to buy his favourite cereal.
Our lawn isn’t very big. I felt bad when I went to a friends for a playdate and they had a huge lawn, with a massive trampoline, lots of running space and a swing set. We have a paddling pool and a little table and there’s not much left over. I felt bad that my child can’t race around.
So, in summary, I have felt guilty about working too much, turning down work, my mothering, my diet and that of my kid, my relationship, and my home.
And that’s a pretty standard week.
The fact is, like most women, I am doing my best to work, keep the kids happy, keep my relationship strong, and ensure everyone is fed, watered and clean. It’s a tired topic, really, mother guilt – we all KNOW there are people waiting to bash our every choice, raise their eyebrows at our lifestyle, tut at our children. Entire industries are based around how rubbish women feel about themselves on any given day. We know we can’t do right for doing wrong, but we still try.
Well, I’m exhausted. Guilt is a pointless, exhausting, draining emotion. I will not feel guilty anymore for my choices. I implore you to do the same, no matter how messy your tiny houses are, no matter how much champers you drink with friends, and no matter how much or little you work and how much or little your kids are away from you.
Cheers to that.