Question: For the past 11 months my line manager was a terrible bully. I followed all the conventional advice, kept a log of events, raised the issue with his superiors, etc. With hindsight I wish I had simply left. I was partially successful in that his superficial behaviour towards me was modified, but I still had to deal with the results of his incompetent management, his continued intimidation of my stressed and fearful colleagues and his bad personality (sulks, snide remarks, negativity and lack of appreciation).

He has now retired but instead of feeling happy I'm exhausted and demotivated in the face of picking up the pieces after the destruction he caused. I've had a holiday but just felt more despondent about returning.

I worry that if I leave I will take my low morale with me, as well as it looking bad on my CV to leave so soon. I would also resent giving up a good job and letting a new person with more energy reap the benefits of what I've been through for the last year. But I deeply regret my earlier decision to stay, which caused me 11 months of stress, anxiety and exhaustion, and I think it might be more damaging for me to continue. The department is under interim management and is short-staffed, disorganised and under pressure to deliver. Can you offer any advice?

Bridee: The advice I'm about to offer, like almost all advice, is a great deal easier to give than to follow. But I'm pretty sure this is what you must do.

Make up your mind to cut out the regret. You probably can't do it all at once, so do it bit by bit, as if you were cutting down on chocolates. Spend a little less time every day wishing you'd done something that you didn't do. It's a terrible waste of time and emotion and has absolutely no value. In your particular case, you didn't resign - and so suffered many more months of misery. Instead, you stuck it out - and your brute of a manager finally retired. But just because you haven't felt an immediate sense of relief and liberation doesn't mean you were wrong. Admittedly at a hefty price, you bought yourself the chance to recover your stride and your confidence without leaving the company.

If you walked away now you'd not only take your low morale with you; you'd also squander forever the chance to turns things round. So axe that regret - and make a steely, single-minded decision that that's what you will do. I bet you do it. And that's the time, and not a moment before, to decide whether or not to move on.